Soaking in the Spirit and Fellowship

Last night I witnessed something that I have never seen before. I found out later that "Soaking in the Spirit" is something you don't usually do till you have completed most of your DTS. I will learn about it more in Holy Spirit week in a couple of weeks but for now I got a taste and I can't wait. It's complicated to explain what happens but all I know is that I feel like a whole new person. I was broken down... sobbing over the events that haunt my heart. Dark things from my past that I had suppressed and tried to ignore. I know that feelings can just be pushed inside and locked up for no one to see. Even though most of my family would call me an "emo-memo" or just an "emotional wreck" no one has seen the darkness of it. My heart had been shattered into tiny glass pieces that I felt would never truly be molded back to the original. I had given up, lost hope, and was living with regret, fear and anger. But last night I encountered God for what he really is and my sobbing was transformed into an uncontrollable laughter that still I can't understand. I looked at Vickey laughing till my stomach ached and shouted at her "Vickey!! I think I can be happy now!!"

As I woke up today slightly confused and questioning what really went on, I felt complete again for the first time in years. I had to talk about my past and for the first time in what seems like forever, it was actually the past.. I was no longer dwelling on it. I can think of memories and not be sickened or heartbroken. True relief.

If on my first day of DTS this can happen... Then words can not express how grateful I am for the next five months to come. God has broken walls and I am complete with a heart that is in rapid recovery and ready for what He has to share.

As I go into this week refreshed I pray that God will speak through my lectures. DTS is Discipleship Training School. I really hope and pray that God will use me as a disciple. My continued prayer is that he will use my hands and feet to touch the people of nations. Tomorrow we start the process of choosing where our outreach will be. I have been praying my heart out and requesting prayer so that God will make it perfectly clear where he needs me to be. I feel called to Africa so Mozambique feels like the right choice but since I've been here Brazil has been thrown in my face everywhere? How can this be?? Please pray for the finances and a direct confrimation from God for me.

Over all. This has been incredible. All is well :)

Blessings.